done things i am not proud of

[emmatheslayer]

Before the magic before collage before, willow before my life had started i had things did things no human would own up too. i met someone and got in deep i did anything to make him happy, i have a dark past and its something i never thought i would think of again .until my brother donny found the picture in my old room i must of left it there underneth my dresses i almost killed someone and i never thought i would be able to face anyone i kept it to myself for so long it ate away at me untill i could not handle the gult and fear of being found out . i was so worried if anyone from sunnydale had seen this seen the things i did to gain a friendship it was something i never thought i would get or to be loved and looked upon as someone of value . but i never knew what that could feel like at home all women were told they were demons so i embacerd it i saw it as that who i was i tortured a man and back then its who i thought i was , I was scared and unloved but then sunnydale happen and i never looked back left that as part of the past and that no one saw me as that. Then i met willow fell in love we lost or love then i was taken from this world and i wa not whole this wighed on me it shook me living my sunnydale happiness as a lie, but then willow she brought me back . love we lost could not be repaired but we had both moved on she found her hero and i found mine in my husband spike the one true love for me but still never told anyone the badness of my past i found the photo today while cleaning and i can not keep it any longer it is a part of what I was , i am not proud of it but i cant keep it to myself it is something i have to get off my chest and be done with it to close that part of my life i will not be reacked with the sadness of it so now it done the world knows but I am not proud of it but i will own it

the end